The Best (and Worst) Funny Fatherhood Jokes 👋

I took my 8-year-old to the office on Take Your Kid to Work Day. As we were walking around, she starting crying and getting very cranky, so I asked her what was wrong. As my coworkers gathered round, she sobbed, 'Daddy, where are all the clowns that you said you worked with?!'

If a child refuses to sleep during nap time, are they guilty of resisting a rest?'

My landlord told me we need to talk about the heating bill. 'Sure,' I said. 'My door is always open.'

What state is known for its small drinks? Minnesota.

Yesterday, I was washing the car with my son. He said, 'Dad, can’t you just use a sponge?'

A son tells his father, 'I have an imaginary girlfriend.' The father sighs and says, 'You know, you could do better.' 'Thanks Dad,' the son says. 'That means a lot.' The father shakes his head and goes, 'I was talking to your girlfriend.'

Today, my son asked, “Can I have a bookmark? ' I burst into tears—11 years old and he still doesn’t know my name is Brian.

If you're feeling depressed, try drinking a gallon of water before you go to sleep. It'll give you a reason to get out of bed in the morning.

My dad died because he couldn’t remember his blood type. He kept insisting we 'be positive,' but it’s just so hard without him.

Why does a husband lead a dog's life? He comes in with muddy feet, gets comfortable by the fire, and waits to be fed.

A cop started crying while he was writing me a ticket. I asked him why and he said, 'It's a moving violation.'

What’s more unbelievable than a talking dog? A spelling bee.

What’s the best air to breathe if you want to be rich? Millionaire.

What gets wetter the more it dries? A towel.

I used to hate facial hair, but then it grew on me.