The Best (and Worst) Funny Fatherhood Jokes 👋

Two cowboys are stranded in the desert... One cowboy sees a tree covered in bacon in the distance. He gets all excited and runs towards the bacon tree... As he reaches the bacon tree he gets shot to death. It turns out it wasn't a bacon tree... It was a hambush

Break up My boyfriend just broke up with me, he was sick and tired of my constant zodiac puns.It Taurus apart.I'm in Pisces typing this

A woman has the last word in any argument. A woman has the last word in any argument.Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

What did the fish say to the fisherman? "No one will ever believe you."

A man is told the local bank offers mortgages with no interest The man enters the bank.Man: I’m here to find out about the mortgageEmployee: I don’t really care.

I think the Rainforest Cafe takes the whole rainforest theme too far. This one time I was sitting there eating my chicken tenders and they bulldozed 40% of the restaurant.

My wife came home with a big bunch of flowers and says where would you like me to plant them. I said I'll tell you where you can plant your tulips.

Do you know what the last thing my grandfather said to me was before he kicked the bucket? “Grandson, watch how far I can kick this bucket.”

How do you define a farmer? Someone who is good in their field.

It takes guts to be an organ donor.

At the job interview, they asked me, "Where do you see yourself in five years?" I told him, "I think we'll still be using mirrors in five years."

Why does putting a car in reverse make you nostalgic? It takes you back.

What did the mountain climber name his son? Cliff

Why do you never see elephants hiding in trees? Because they’re so good at it.

My wife is really mad that I have no sense of direction. I packed up my stuff and right.