The Best (and Worst) Funny Fatherhood Jokes 👋

What do you call it when there’s an earthquake at a cemetery ? A maraca band

What is an owl’s favorite board game? Guess Who?

Don’t you hate it when you can’t sleep because you are reminded of a mistake you made 2 years ago? I hate it when my kid cries in the middle of the night

A bloke arrives at a nightclub door and the bouncers say he can't come in without a tie. He goes to the boot of his car and gets a pair of jump leads, wraps them around his neck and goes back to the doormen. "Can I come in now,' he says to the bouncers. 'Yeah, but don't start anything''.

"Just look at that couple down the road," a wife told her husband. "He keeps holding her hand, kissing her, holding the door for her. Why can't you do that?" "Are you insane?" he responded. "I barely know the woman!"

Russ: "Dad, this tree won't fit in our backyard." Clark: "It's not going in the yard, Russ. It's going in the living room."

What was the man feeling after he got swindled right under Big Ben? He was ticked off.

A cop just knocked on my door and told me that my dogs were chasing people on bikes. I told him my dogs don't even own bikes.

"Act like a parent. Talk like a peer. It's called peer-enting.'"

Why should you never mention the number 288? It’s two gross.

If a child refuses to nap, are they guilty of resisting a rest?

I used to be a personal trainer. Then I gave my too weak notice.'

My parents raised me as an only child. Which really annoyed my younger brother.

Why did the football coach go to the bank? To get his quarter back.

My wife said I should do lunges to stay in shape. That would be a big step forward.'