The Best (and Worst) Grandad Jokes 👋
Bring some classic humor to the family with our collection of grandad jokes! These jokes celebrate the charm, wisdom, and wit of grandfathers everywhere. From clever puns to heartwarming one-liners, our grandad jokes are perfect for sharing with the older generation and everyone who loves a good laugh. Explore the funniest jokes that will make granddad smile and the whole family chuckle!
St. Francis worked at Krispy Kreme. He was a deep friar.
Do you know the last thing my grandfather said to me before he kicked the bucket? “Grandson, watch how far I can kick this bucket.”
If you donate a kidney, everybody loves you and you’re a total hero. But try donating five kidneys and suddenly everyone is yelling and the police get called.
My brother has been staying with me for a couple weeks now, which has been awful. My brother is crazy. Even my neighbors hate him. The other day I opened the door...I caught him masturbating. He looks me right in the eyes and goes, “Shut the door.”I said, “Get inside.”credit: Anthony Jeselnik
I hear you, brother \- Pity me sir, I have a wife and six children, said the beggar. The gentleman replied: - Dear fellow! Accept my heartfelt sympathy, so have I!
My grandpa just died of lung cancer... He fought it asbestos he could.
I was devastated that my tag team wrestling partner turned out to be morbidly obese... I say this with a heavy Hart.
50 years later most people have no idea who Neil Armstrong is Or what kind of saxophone music he played
My grandpa left me a violin and an oil painting in his will. When I took them to be valued, I was told that they were by Van Gogh and Stradivarius. Sadly they were worthless as Van Gogh was rubbish at making violins and Stradivarius was an awful painter.
My toddler is refusing to nap. He’s guilty of resisting a rest.
I like to spend my weekends playing chess with elderly men in the park. But it's becoming more difficult. You try finding exactly32 old guys.
Lance isn't that common a name these days, but in medieval times, they were called lance-a-lot.
My dad was born a conjoined twin, but separated at birth. So I have an uncle, once removed.
"Grandma, have you seen my LSD?" Grandma replies "Fuck the LSD, have you seen the dragons in the kitchen?!"
An old man dies and wakes up in a strange ethereal world. The first thing he sees is another old man with a curvaceous young lady on his lap. ‘This must be heaven!’ he exclaims, ‘Is she your reward?’‘No,’ replies the other old man, ‘We’re in hell and I’m her punishment!’