The Best (and Worst) Holiday Dad Jokes (Christmas, Easter, etc.) 👋

How much does it cost Santa to park his sleigh?' 'Nothing, it's on the house.'

What would a snowman say if he could talk? "I smell carrots."

I hear they are calling the riots yesterday 'The Capitol Blizzard' Makes Sense....They caused lots of destruction, Was full of snowflakes, And a whole lot of White.

Roses are reddish, violets are bluish. If it weren't for Christmas, we'd all be Jewish.

What's my favourite xmas song? The one about the 25 letter alphabet. Nooo L, nooo L, nooooo L, no L

Christmas cake recipe **Required Ingredients:*** 1 cup of water* 1 cup of sugar* 4 large brown eggs* 2 cups of dried fruit* 1 teaspoon of salt* 1 cup of brown sugar* Lemon juice* Nuts* 1 bottle of whiskey**Preparation:**Sample the whi... read more

7 years ago today I pleaded with my snowman not to attempt the river crossing but he wouldn't listen and is lost to me forever. It's all water under the bridge now.

To all my Redditor friends observing the holy month of Ramadan... ...Lunch is on me.

What happens when it rains cats and dogs? You have to be careful not to step in a poodle.

Given the current state of affairs, Santa needed something new to give to naughty children this year. Which is why he has decided to give out coalvid

Why are Santa's reindeer allowed to spend Christmas together? Because they have herd immunity.

Why does the selective Ghost only haunt Bars and Pubs..? ... He's addicted to Boos

Did you know Sean Connery used to save the egg shells from pancake day and paint them to use for egg hunts at Easter? It was an egg shell lent idea

Why are Pokemon considered manly in Peru? It all dates back to the time of Macho-Pikachu

Why does Santa need to have all of his maps custom made? He uses polar coordinates!