The Best (and Worst) One-Liner Dad Jokes 👋

What do you call a dad that has fallen through the ice? A Popsicle.

My girlfriend, Ruth, fell off the back of my motorcycle I rode on, ruthlessly

Why’d the blonde math major only apply to colleges in South Africa? She wanted to attend a party school where she couldn’t fail at integrating.

I wanted to improve my physical affection skills, so I went down to the library and took out a book called “How to Hug”... ...You can imagine my disappointment when it turned out to be volume six of the Oxford English Dictionary

A news chain started asking people what's their opinion on a food shortage around the world The venezuelans asked what food isThe Europeans asked what shortage isThe americans asked what the rest of the world is The chinese asked what an opinion is, then got arrested for asking too many questions

My friend said to me "what rimes with orange?" And I said "No it doesn't.".

After hundreds of years of speculation, aliens have finally contacted earth. They prepare a simultaneous broadcast to all humans to give us their message: *Hello people of Earth! We have been trying to reach you about your planet’s extended warranty*

Which country's capital has the fastest growing population? Ireland. Everday it's Dublin.\*Idk if this has been on here yet. My co worker told me this and I about had a stroke.\*

As an internist, I always recommend that constipated patients eat more fiber, but with little success. Apparently, they don't give a shit.

SpongeBob may be the main character of the show. But Patrick is the star.

My wife asked me the other day where I got so much candy. I said, 'I always have a few Twix up my sleeve.'

Did you hear about the guy who invented the knock-knock joke? He won the 'no-bell' prize.'

I only seem to get sick on weekdays. I must have a weekend immune system.

I finally watched that documentary on clocks. It was about time.

I take my time while putting toppings on my hotdogs. I choose to relish the moment.