The Best (and Worst) Short & Snappy Dad Jokes 👋

I found a wooden shoe in my toilet today. It was clogged.

If a child refuses to nap, are they guilty of resisting a rest?'

What’s the best way to watch a fly-fishing tournament? Live stream.

Why is Peter Pan always flying? Because he Neverlands.

I built a model of Mount Everest and my son asked if it was to scale. 'No,' I said. 'It's to look at.'

Have you heard about those new corduroy pillows? They're making headlines.

I was in a grocery store when a man started to throw cheese, butter and yoghurt at me. How Dairy!

What did the coffee report to the police? A mugging.'

You think swimming with sharks is expensive? Swimming with sharks cost me an arm and a leg.'

Mountains aren't just funny. They're hill areas.'

Dad, did you get a haircut?' 'No, I got them all cut!'

A panic-stricken man explained to his doctor, 'You have to help me, I think I’m shrinking.' 'Now settle down,' the doctor calmly told him. 'You'll just have to learn to be a little patient.'

What do you call someone with no body and no nose? Nobody knows.

I always knock on the fridge door before opening it, just in case there's a salad dressing.

I asked my dog what's two minus two. He said nothing.'