The Best (and Worst) Silly & Dumb Dad Jokes 👋

Did you hear about the circus fire? It was in tents.'

Have you heard about those new corduroy pillows? They're making headlines.

How do astronomers organize a party? They planet.

I tried to explain to my 4-year-old son that it’s perfectly normal to accidentally poop your pants. But he’s still making fun of me.

Why should you never mention the number 288? It’s two gross.

What kind of cars do eggs drive? Yolkswagens.

I sold our vacuum cleaner; it was just gathering dust.

What does a lemon say when it answers the phone?' 'Yellow!'

Ghosts are bad liars because you can see right through them.

What did Baby Corn say to Mama Corn?' 'Where's Pop Corn?'

When I see the names of lovers engraved on a tree, I don’t find it cute or romantic. I find it weird how many people take knives with them on dates.

I once saw a one-handed man in a second-hand store. I told him, 'I don’t think they have what you’re looking for, sir.'

I was sitting on the back porch with my wife when I suddenly blurted out, 'I love you.' 'Is that you or the beer talking?' she asked. I answered, 'It’s me… talking to my beer.'

I named my dog “5 miles.' So that I could frequently say, “I am going to walk 5 miles now.'

Singing in the shower is fun until you get soap in your mouth. Then it's a soap opera.'