The Best (and Worst) Silly & Dumb Dad Jokes 👋

What do horses say when they fall? I can't giddy up.

I remember as a kid, my dad got fired from his job as a road worker for theft. I refused to believe he could do such a thing, but when I got home, the signs were all there.

I failed my calculus exam because I was sitting in the middle of identical twins - I couldn't differentiate between them.

How does Reese eat cereal? Witherspoon.

I always knock on the fridge door before opening it, just in case there's a salad dressing.

Did I tell you the time I fell in love during a backflip? I was heels over head.

Someone told me that I should write a book. I said, "That's a novel concept."

The inventor of the throat lozenge has died. There will be no coffin at his funeral.

You know, people say they pick their nose, but I feel like I was just born with mine.'

What do you call a fibbing cat? A lion.

I’m an expert at picking leaves and heating them in water. It’s my special tea.

A friend of mine didn’t pay his exorcist. He got repossessed.

I ordered a chicken and an egg online. I’ll let you know.'

A man walks into a magic forest and tries to cut down a talking tree. 'You can't cut me down,' the tree complains. 'I’m a talking tree!' The man responds, 'You may be a talking tree, but you will dialogue.'

A turtle is crossing the road when he’s mugged by two snails. When the police ask him what happened, the shaken turtle replies, “I don’t know. It all happened so fast. '