The Best (and Worst) Silly & Dumb Dad Jokes 👋

In a pinch, you can cut the fingers off of rubber gloves and use each of them as a contraceptive. Just a handy tip.

What happens to the soldiers who are supposed to be deployed to Iraq? They sit and Kuwait.

I entered a competition to see who could put on the most items of clothing in a minute. I was in the lead, but right at the last second, my opponent managed to throw something around his neck and draw level. It was a tie.

A man is walking through the woods and comes across a talking frog ... "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a princess," the frog tells him.The man picks the frog up and puts her in his pocket."Wait, wait, aren't you going to kiss me?" asks the frog. "I'm a princess!"The man shrugs. "I'd rather have a talking frog."

What do you call a snail in a shotgun shell? A slug

I have 6 eyes, 3 ears, 2 mouths, but one tooth. What am I? Ugly.

I have a dishwashing liquid that attacks grease. Mostly the uninspired cinematography and John Travolta's singing.

I hate when people blame video games for mass shooting Like what am I gonna do shoot up the school with a copy of doom

If you were to steal a historical figures research notebooks what you steal? Charles Darwin’s would be my natural selection.

Where do actors that don't pay taxes perform? in the audit-orium

When I want to read fiction, I go to the library. When I want to read nonfiction, I go to the truthbrary.

TIL of Private First Class, Francis Lipton— an American soldier in the Revolutionary war– who invented a delicious new beverage while fighting at Valley Forge. It was the first known casual tea ofWar.

what do you call medical students who graduated online? google docs

How does the enthusiastic chef serve his burgers? With relish

Did you know you can't breath when you smile? Just kidding. Just wanted to make you guys smile 🙂