The Best (and Worst) Twitter Trending Dad Jokes 👋

“Siri,” I asked my phone, “why am I so bad with women?" She responded, “I’m Bixby, you moron.”

For centuries, scientists said “Drake and Josh” couldn’t come to Hulu or Netflix But they found a way, they found a way

Why does Greta Thunberg love this sub? Coz of the amount of reused content here.

And the first prize is [drum roll]: One night with Donald Trump. Second prize is two nights.

I was in front of a grocery story, some guy came up to me. He said "Hey, do you have a moment to help save the environment?" I said "Absolutely." So he gave me a pamphlet, I recycled it right away.

My mother said, "You won't amount to anything because you procrastinate." I told her, "Oh yea... Just you wait."Edit: She didn't believe in me but thanks to you guys and your amazing support, I can tell her to piss off cause I made something of myself. I'm front page famous. Well... Not right now but I will!

Anyone got a fork and a plate? Reddit handed me a slice o cake, but 2hrs til it expires and they left me without silverware and fine china needed to enjoy it 🙁

Why didn't the vampire attack Taylor Swift? She had bad blood.

Anytime I ask a girl with a boyfriend to watch my favorite movie with her, she always ends up being a Liam Neeson fan “No, Taken”

Im so sorry internet Whats the differance between being hungry and hornyDepends where the cucumber goes!!!

Tonight on Thursday Night Football, the stadium was 25% full of fans. Turns out they didn’t actually have any Covid policies in place. That’s just the kind of turnout you get when it’s the Bengals and the Browns.

I’m really excited for the amateur autopsy club I just joined. Tuesday is open Mike night!

How many clickbait articles does it take to change a lightbulb? The answer will shock you!

What country's capital is growing the fastest?' 'Ireland. Every day it's Dublin.'

What do you call two monkeys that share an Amazon account?' 'Prime mates.'