The Best (and Worst) Work-Related Dad Jokes 👋

How does the rancher keep track of his cattle? With a cow-culator.

I had dinner with Garry Kasparov at a restaurant with a checked tablecloth... I asked him to pass the salt, & it took 3 1/2 hours

I asked the IT guy, 'How do you make a Motherboard?' He said, 'I tell her about my job.'

I asked the IT guy, "How do you make a Motherboard?" He said, "I tell her about my job."

My boss asked me why I only get sick on work days. I said it must be my weekend immune system.

"Cop: I'm arresting you for downloading the entire Wikipedia." Man: "Wait! I can explain everything!"

In America, using the metric system can get you in legal trouble.

During a business meeting yesterday, someone asked me about my background. So I told him about my education, career, family, hopes and dreams. Turns out he was asking about what was behind me on our Zoom call.

At the job interview, they asked me, “Where do you see yourself in five years?”

I was once a personal trainer, until I gave a too-weak notice.

Do you know the most important job of a grill master at a restaurant? To please their steak holders.

My local hair dresser just got charged with drug dealing. I am shocked. I've been a customer of his for years. He never told me he cut hair.

When I am tasked with sorting through a stack of résumés, I throw about half of them in the garbage. I do not want unlucky people working in our company

I searched for a lighter on Amazon, but all I could find was 401 matches...

My landlord texted saying we need to meet up and talk about how high my heating bill is. I replied back, 'Sure, my door is always open.'