The Best (and Worst) Dad Jokes About Amazon & Tech 👋

I bought a book on feng shui. I read it, but now I don't know where to put it.

Just say NO to drugs!' Well, if I’m talking to drugs, I probably already said yes.

I decided to sell my vacuum cleaner—it was just gathering dust!'

If you're feeling depressed, try drinking a gallon of water before you go to sleep. It'll give you a reason to get out of bed in the morning.

I'm worried for the calendar because its days are numbered.

My wife asked why I didn’t buy her flowers. To be fair, I didn’t know she sold flowers.

I went to the zoo and saw a baguette in a cage. The zookeeper said it was bread in captivity.

I ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon. I’ll let you know.

I’m on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it!

Did you hear about the hungry clock. It went back four seconds.

I used to be a banker, but I lost interest.

I have a joke about drilling, but it’s boring.

My wife left a note on the fridge that said, “This isn't working.” I’m not sure what she’s talking about. I opened the fridge door and it’s working fine!

You used to be able to get air for free at gas stations, but now it's a $1. That's inflation for you.

I was driving with my backdoor open. To close it, I accelerated at speedbumps. That way the door will close from the shock. I got fired because the patient fell from the ambulance...