The Best (and Worst) Dad Jokes About Dads 👋
Celebrate fatherhood with our collection of dad jokes about dads! These hilarious, self-deprecating jokes poke fun at the quirks and classic moments of being a dad. Whether you’re a dad yourself or just love the humor that comes with fatherhood, our dad jokes about dads will have you laughing and groaning in equal measure. Perfect for sharing with fellow dads or just enjoying on your own, these jokes are all about embracing the dad life with a smile!
A furniture store keeps calling me. All I wanted was one night stand.
Women should not have children after 36—really, 36 children is enough.
Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? It's fine, he woke up.
“Just look at that couple down the road,” a wife told her husband. “He keeps holding her hand, kissing her, holding the door for her. Why can’t you do that?” “Are you insane?” he responded. “I barely know the woman!”
What has five toes and isn’t your foot? My foot.
What do you call a priest that becomes a lawyer? A father-in-law.
What does the stork do once he's delivered the baby? He lies on the couch and drinks a beer!
What did the baby corn say to the mama corn? Where's popcorn?
What did the banana say to the boy? Nothing, bananas can't talk!
To the person who stole my glasses: I will find you. I have contacts.
What’s the difference between a dad and a grill? A grill runs out out of gas.
Can a kangaroo jump higher than the Empire State Building? Of course! Buildings can’t jump.
Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything.
Do you know the last thing my grandfather said to me before he kicked the bucket? “Grandson, watch how far I can kick this bucket.”
A rancher had only had 48 cows on his property, but when he rounded them up he had 50.