The Best (and Worst) Dad Jokes About Dads 👋
Celebrate fatherhood with our collection of dad jokes about dads! These hilarious, self-deprecating jokes poke fun at the quirks and classic moments of being a dad. Whether you’re a dad yourself or just love the humor that comes with fatherhood, our dad jokes about dads will have you laughing and groaning in equal measure. Perfect for sharing with fellow dads or just enjoying on your own, these jokes are all about embracing the dad life with a smile!
I went to a smoke shop only to discover it’d been replaced by an apparel store.
Why are pediatricians always so angry? Because they have little patients.
What’s orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot.
Mom texted me from the grocery store to say they’re out of pasta, and we’re penneless.
What’s orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot.
This ham sandwich walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender says, “Sorry, we don’t serve food here.”
What has ears but cannot hear? A cornfield!
What kind of car does a sheep like to drive? A lamborghini.
If you see a robbery at an Apple store, does that make you an iWitness?
One friend complained to another, “All my husband and I do anymore is fight. I've been so upset, I’ve lost 20 pounds.” “If it’s that bad, why don’t you just leave him?” asked the second friend. “I’d like to lose another fifteen pounds first.”
My son screeched, "Daaaaaad, you haven't listened to one word I've said, have you!?" What a strange way to start a conversation with me...
I once saw a one-handed man in a second-hand store. I told him, “I don’t think they have what you’re looking for, sir.”
What do you call the knight who is also a butcher? Sir Loin
In chemistry class the experiment called for 36 grams of the 83rd element on the periodic table. I could see that the girl next to me had weighed out 42 grams. When I told her she was getting a bit heavy she said.... I should mind my own bismuth.
The way I combed my hair in 7th grade is the worst part.