The Best (and Worst) Dad Jokes About Dads 👋
Celebrate fatherhood with our collection of dad jokes about dads! These hilarious, self-deprecating jokes poke fun at the quirks and classic moments of being a dad. Whether you’re a dad yourself or just love the humor that comes with fatherhood, our dad jokes about dads will have you laughing and groaning in equal measure. Perfect for sharing with fellow dads or just enjoying on your own, these jokes are all about embracing the dad life with a smile!
A man visits Harvard Visitor in Harvard Square: "Excuse me, where's the library at?"Harvard student: "Sir, this is Harvard. We don't end our sentences with prepositions."Visitor: "Oh, I'm sorry. I meant to ask, where's the library at, asshole?"
I went to the shooting range for the first time and couldn’t get my gun to fire. Now I have to read the trouble shooting section in the manual.
What has a 1000 teeth and holds back a monster? My zipper.
A man forgot to zip his trousers... so a lady told him politely... “Sir your garage is open.” The man gave her a naughty smile and zipped his trousers and asked.. “Did you see my Range Rover parked inside?”The lady smiled back and said..“No, just one small Toyota with two flat tires.”
I visited a cafe and ordered eggs for breakfast this morning. The woman behind the counter asked, "How would you like your eggs cooked." "Does it affect the price?" I said. "No, not at all." she replied. "In that case I'd like them cooked with bacon, sausage and tomato please."
Why do the ninja turtles make terrible office mates? They always destroy the shredder.
There are so many forms of martial arts, it’s hard to keep track of. Kind of.. Kung Fusing
How do you keep a violin from being stolen? Put it in a viola case.
“Roses are red, violets are red, if you aren’t red, you get shot in the head.” \-Stalin 1946
What do you call a program that uses every possible combination to crack a password? A battering R.A.M.
A redneck couple gets pregnant, what will they have? Either a niece or a nephew.
What's easier to get, aids or lung cancer? Depends what you smoke.(Not native speaker, sorry if it doesn't make sense)
Which occupation is the most perverted? Electrician - they’re always looking for strippers
TicketMaster was just fined $10 million for hacking into a competitor At least they were told it would be $10 million, but when they went on the court's website to pay the fine, the site tacked on a bunch of "processing fees" and "venue charges" and the total came out to more like $15 million.
A lion calls 911 and gets put on hold. a couple of minutes later...911 what is your emergency?Jeez Finally! One of our lion cubs was eaten by a hyena!Are the other cubs safe??Well, I actually got really hungry while I was on hold...