The Best (and Worst) Dad Jokes About Dads 👋
Celebrate fatherhood with our collection of dad jokes about dads! These hilarious, self-deprecating jokes poke fun at the quirks and classic moments of being a dad. Whether you’re a dad yourself or just love the humor that comes with fatherhood, our dad jokes about dads will have you laughing and groaning in equal measure. Perfect for sharing with fellow dads or just enjoying on your own, these jokes are all about embracing the dad life with a smile!
What did one plate whisper to the other plate? Dinner is on me.
An apple a day keeps the doctor away. At least it does if you throw it hard enough.
What kind of cars do eggs drive? Yolkswagens.
I ate a clock the other day. It was very time consuming.
Mom asked me to put ketchup on the grocery list. Now I can't see anything.
What’s the difference between a dad and a grill? A grill runs out out of gas.
I haven't spoken to my wife in four years. I thought it would be rude to interrupt her!
How do you get a farm girl to marry you? First, a tractor.
30 percent of pet owners let their pets sleep in their bed. I tried it and my goldfish died.
How do you know when a bike is thinking? You can see its wheels turning.
Try the seafood diet—you see food, then you eat it.
How did Darth Vader know what Luke got him for Christmas? He felt his presents!
What do cows like to read? Cattle-logs.
What did the calculator say to the pencil? You can count on me.
In fact, if you sneer at any other method of measuring liquids, you may be held in contempt of quart.