The Best (and Worst) Dad Jokes About Dads 👋
Celebrate fatherhood with our collection of dad jokes about dads! These hilarious, self-deprecating jokes poke fun at the quirks and classic moments of being a dad. Whether you’re a dad yourself or just love the humor that comes with fatherhood, our dad jokes about dads will have you laughing and groaning in equal measure. Perfect for sharing with fellow dads or just enjoying on your own, these jokes are all about embracing the dad life with a smile!
What happened to the cat after she swallowed a ball of yarn? She had mittens.
What did the dog say to the two trees? Bark bark.
I wonder what my parents did to fight boredom before the internet. I asked my eighteen brothers and sisters but they didn’t have any idea either.
I spent a lot of time, money, and effort childproofing my house… but the kids still get in.
One friend complained to another, 'All my husband and I do anymore is fight. I've been so upset, I’ve lost 20 pounds.' 'If it’s that bad, why don’t you just leave him?' asked the second friend. 'I’d like to lose another fifteen pounds first.'
Why do vampires always seem sick? They're coffin.
I had a fun childhood. My dad used to push me down the hill in old tires. They were Goodyears.
What does a mobster buried in cement soon become? A hardened criminal.
A doctor walks into a room with a dying patient and tells him, 'I’m sorry, but you only have ten left.' The patient asks him, 'Ten what, Doc? Hours? Days? Weeks?' The doctor calmly looks at him and says, 'Nine.'
Whenever I try to eat healthy, a chocolate bar looks at me and Snickers.'
My wife said if I bought her one more stupid gift, she would burn it. So i bought her a candle.
A witch's vehicle goes brrrroom brrrroom!
My wife and I have decided not to have kids. The kids are taking it pretty badly.
My wife asked why I didn’t buy her flowers. To be fair, I didn’t know she sold flowers.
“Today my son asked me, ‘Can I have a bookmark’? I burst into tears — he’s 12 years old and still doesn’t know my name!”