The Best (and Worst) Dad Jokes About Dads 👋
Celebrate fatherhood with our collection of dad jokes about dads! These hilarious, self-deprecating jokes poke fun at the quirks and classic moments of being a dad. Whether you’re a dad yourself or just love the humor that comes with fatherhood, our dad jokes about dads will have you laughing and groaning in equal measure. Perfect for sharing with fellow dads or just enjoying on your own, these jokes are all about embracing the dad life with a smile!
Whenever the cashier at the grocery store asks my dad if he would like the milk in a bag he replies, "No, just leave it in the carton!"
My dad has colon cancer It's shitty.
What did the butcher say to do incase there was a fire? Grab your meat and beat it
You meet a man on the Oregon Trail. He tells you his name is Terry. “Terry?!” you say laughing, “Terry’s a girls name!” Without any hesitation, Terry pulls out a gun and shoots you dead. You have died of dissin’ Terry 🙁
Dogs are truly woman's best friend If you don't believe it, lock your dog and husband in your trunk. Wait an hour, open it and see who is happier to see you again!
Why does Santa always keep a Baseball bat in his sleigh? For Claus combat.
Monica Lewinsky walks into a dry cleaner She tells the man behind the counter that she has a dress that needs laundered. The hard-of-hearing man responds with "come again?" Ms. Lewinsky replies with "No, just mayonnaise this time."
For my first cake day I want to share a joke my dad told me when I was probably too young to really understand it. How does an elephant hide in the jungle? Climbs to the top of a cherry tree and paints his balls red. What’s the loudest sound in the jungle? Giraffes eating cherries! (Apologies if you’ve heard it before fellow Redditors! Maybe by next cake day I’ll get better material)
Why did the police attack the peaceful demonstration for Elijah McClain? They were told to fight violins with violence.
Russian Roulette is completely safe to play! I interviewed people who played and %100 said that they all survived!
What do you call someone who is both a physician who can treat you and a physician who cannot?!?!?!?!?! A pair-a-docs.
What kind of food do they serve at Medieval Times? Farm to Fable.
Why aren't there TVs in Afghanistan? Because of the Teliban.
Two Grains of Sand... Two grains of sand go on a trip to the beach. One says to the other, “Jesus, it’s crowded here!”
I hate when people talk about their kids age in weeks and months. "Jessica said her first word at 36 weeks!"You mean 9 months."Ken is 24 months!" Deborah, he's 2."My baby is -26 weeks old!"No, Karen, you miscarried.