The Best (and Worst) Dad Jokes About Dads 👋

I’m always playing with it. I always have it in my hand. I pull it out at family parties or hanging out with friends. I’ve been known to just whip it out in public, at the park, at the playground. I’m talking about my phone, you sicko!

Shovels are incredible They're ground-breaking technology!

Women are the foundation of our society But men are the ones who laid the foundation

Where do dads store their dad jokes? In the dad-a-base.

I had a neck brace fitted years ago and I've never looked back since.'

What’s your name, son?' The principal asked his student. The kid replied, 'D-d-d-dav-dav-david, sir.' 'Do you have a stutter?' the principal asked. The student answered, 'No sir, my dad has a stutter but the guy who registered my name was a real jerk.'

Dad, can you put my shoes on?' 'No, I don't think they'll fit me.'

My daughter just shrieked at me, 'Daaaaaad, you haven’t listened to a word I’ve said, have you?' What an odd way to begin a conversation.

Do you know the last thing my grandfather said to me before he kicked the bucket? 'Grandson, watch how far I can kick this bucket.'

What’s the least spoken language in the world? Sign language.

They say that breakfast is the most important meal of the day. Well, not if it’s poisoned. Then the antidote becomes the most important.

Vin Diesel eats two meals a day. Breakfast and breakfurious.

A turtle is crossing the road when he’s mugged by two snails. When the police ask him what happened, the shaken turtle replies, “I don’t know. It all happened so fast. '

I told my wife that a husband is like a fine wine: we just get better with age. The next day she locked me in the cellar.

What does a baby computer call his father? Data.