The Best (and Worst) Dad Jokes About Dads 👋
Celebrate fatherhood with our collection of dad jokes about dads! These hilarious, self-deprecating jokes poke fun at the quirks and classic moments of being a dad. Whether you’re a dad yourself or just love the humor that comes with fatherhood, our dad jokes about dads will have you laughing and groaning in equal measure. Perfect for sharing with fellow dads or just enjoying on your own, these jokes are all about embracing the dad life with a smile!
Two Londoners went to the sperm bank. A total waste of time. One of them came on the bus, the other one missed the tube!
Did you know that you can't breathe with your tongue out? Pull your tongue back, you look like a donkey.
My uncle swore to me that if i wanted to attract girls, I mean REALLY draw in the chicks, I should roll up a sock and put it in my pants. I did this at a high school dance, and I when I got home, he asked me if I tried it and did it work. I told him it did not help at all, and only made things worse. He looked down and said, “Well you were supposed to put it in the FRONT!”
My parents always take separate planes so that in the unlikely event of a crash, at least one of them will still be alive to be there for us children. They're eighty five now --- the whole thing is like some sick joke they're playing on us.
What do you say to your sister when she’s crying? Are you having a Crisis?
My wife said if I bought her one more stupid gift, she would burn it. So i bought her a candle.
Today, my son asked, “Can I have a bookmark? ' I burst into tears—11 years old and he still doesn’t know my name is Brian.
I gave up my seat to a blind person on the bus. Thats how I lost my job as a bus driver.
Just say NO to drugs!' Well, if I’m talking to drugs, I probably already said yes.
I can always tell when my wife is lying just by looking at her. I can also tell when she’s standing.
I built a model of Mount Everest and my son asked if it was to scale. 'No,' I said. 'It's to look at.'
My son has his BA and his MA—but his PA still supports him.
How did the pirate get his ship so cheap? It was on sail..
What do you call a bundle of hay in a church? Christian Bale.
A father tells his son that he was adopted. 'I want to meet my biological parents,' the son demands. 'We are your biological parents,' the father responds. 'Now pack up, the new ones will pick you up in twenty minutes.'