The Best (and Worst) Dad Jokes for Adults 👋

What does a zombie vegetarian eat? “GRRRAAAIINS!”

What do you call a beehive without an exit? Unbelievable.

The farmer A farmer walks upstairs to his bedroom with a chicken under his arm and stands before his wife.“This is the pig I’ve been fucking”His wife rolls over and sees the farmer.“You idiot that’s a chicken”“SHUT THE FUCK UP IM TALKIN TO THE CHICKEN”

I went on a date with a blind chick the other day. We made it back to my place and things started getting hot when she reached up my pants. She said " Damn! You have the biggest dick I've ever played with!"I said "Nah. You're just pulling my leg."

I thought of this while practicing piano: Behtoven's diarrhea was so bad one moonlit night... that he had 3 movements.

I heard my school's principle's husband talk about how she gives good blow jobs She is the headmaster after all

What do you call a dog with no legs? Doesn’t matter! The dog isn’t going to come anyways.But what do you call a eunuch with no legs?Still doesn’t matter! He’s not going to cum anyways!

Why do vampires dress in Victorian clothes? Because they love period sex.

A dad walks into his daughter's room and saw her fapping with a cucumber, he said: Hey! I was going to eat that, now it's going to taste like cucumber!

I ate a dangerous amount of Mexican food After which Poseidon gave me a rimjob in the toilet.

[NSFW] Oregon has legalized cocaine for a small amount. They called it "The Oregon Trail".

I tried to explain to my 4-year-old son that it's perfectly normal to accidentally poop your pants. But he's still making fun of me.

I wonder what my parents did to fight boredom before the internet. I asked my eighteen brothers and sisters but they didn’t have any idea either.

Stop looking for the perfect match; use a lighter.

Who is the most lonely billionaire? Alone musk.