The Best (and Worst) Dad Jokes for Adults 👋

I was sitting on the back porch with my wife when I suddenly blurted out, “I love you.” “Is that you or the beer talking?” she asked. I answered, “It’s me… talking to my beer.”

I asked the IT guy, "How do you make a Motherboard?" He said, "I tell her about my job."

What do lawyers wear to work? Law suits.

Former figure skater Michelle Kwan was caught by paparazzi, who took an unfortunate down-blouse pic. Nevertheless, it's a perfect example of both quality and Kwan titty.

Two men in a park. A creepy guy walks up to another man in a park. Creepy guy leans close to the man and whispers "do you have any naked photos of your wife?" The man angrily says "certainly not". Creepy guy says "would you like to buy some?"

She was wearing a t-shirt that said Guess So I asked her ... Implants?

You’re all wrong, the Earth isn’t flat or round... It’s fucked

What do you call an albino white supremacist? An asshole.

i showed my mom my D and she was not happy she said to go study and come talk to her when i get a A+

Me and another coworker were competing to see who was the best at our drug testing job. I was winning until i misplaced a felon's probation samples. So I guess I lost that pissing contest

Why are socialist school teachers so disorganized? Because they love to see the class struggle.

I like it when people to change my mind about things Change my mind.

Not to brag but I made six figures last year. I was also named worst employee at the toy factory.

What kind of car does a sheep like to drive? A Lamborghini.

Dad, did you get a haircut?' 'No, I got them all cut!'