The Best (and Worst) Dad Jokes for Adults 👋

Studies show that after being released from prison, women have a tendency to immediately begin menstruation. This is because a period comes at the end of a sentence.

"Grandpa caught a virus yesterday while browsing the web at the nursing home.." ".. apparently there were hot shingles in his area."

I once pushed a guy off his bike I've since been banned from that gym

What is black and smokes and is attached to electrical wires? A bad electrician

Wife told me she slept with 7 people before we met. I wouldn't mind, but I was only 20 minutes late.

I had a troubled childhood, my parents never put a hand over my eyes when people were kissing on the television. They tried to push down my boner instead.

What is the difference between a gun with a bent barrel and a constipated owl? One can shoot but not hit, and the other can hoot but not shit.

What is the most expensive video-streaming service at this time? College

When wearing a bikini, a woman reveals 90 % of her body Men are so polite that they only look at the covered part.

Sex after a blow up is meant to be the best... ... but I'm always out of breath.

A guy goes to a five dollar lady of the night and he gets crabs. So the next day he goes back to complain.And the woman says, "Hey, it was only five dollars. What did you expect, lobster?"

I've been falling asleep listening to comedy specials and I don't think it's good for my health Because I keep feeling funny in the morning.

They had no idea at the job that I was a total drunk Until I showed up sober one day

Spin the Bottle When I was a kid, all of us kids played 'Spin the bottle'. A girl would spin the bottle. If it pointed to you when it stopped, the girl could either kiss you or give you a penny.By the time I was 16, I owned my own house...

I really hate it when beggars shake their coin jar at me I know you have more money than me, you don’t have to be a dick about it!