The Best (and Worst) Dad Jokes for Adults 👋

When I was a kid, my mother told me I could be anyone I wanted to be. Turns out, identity theft is a crime.

The last time Chuck Norris surfed the internet... ...he finished it.

Therapist “how’s your mental health?” Me “well lets just say there is no health anymore” Im just mental now.

Cigarettes are like squirrels. Theyre perfectly harmless until you stick one in your mouth and light it on fire.

Don't break anybody's heart; they only have 1. Break their bones; they have 206.

My Tinder match said she’d talk to me again when she got home... Guess she’s homeless.

Everyone knows about S.T.E.M., but did you know that when you add "art" it's called STEAM? What isn't well know is what you get when you add in the Humanities and Language... it's SCHOOL

Did you hear about the sickly magician with blisters and bad breath? He's a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

A lion calls 911 and gets put on hold. a couple of minutes later...911 what is your emergency?Jeez Finally! One of our lion cubs was eaten by a hyena!Are the other cubs safe??Well, I actually got really hungry while I was on hold...

I hope someone comes across this distress signal Damn it, I used the wrong flare

How do you talk to a COVID denier Without raising your voice so you do not disturb the other patients in the mental health ward.

A Mexican actor died while performing stunts for a movie. During the funeral, his mother walks towards the director and says,"Jesus died for your scenes."

My wife wanted to spice up our sex life, so she asked if we could play doctor tonight. It seemed like a weird idea, but I’m eager to please.

My wife told me she’ll slam my head on the keyboard if I don't get off the computer. I’m not too worried, I think she’s jokinlkjhfakljn m,.nbziyoao78yv87dfaoyuofaytdf

I told my dad he had to quit smoking. When it came to his health we just couldn’t brisket.