The Best (and Worst) Dad Jokes for Adults 👋

Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: “Does this taste funny to you?”

What did the evil chicken lay? Deviled eggs.

NSFW My friend found a girl tied to the train tracks. He told me he untied her and they went back to his place, I asked what they got up to and he said they had sex all night. Impressed by this I asked him if he got any head to which he said Nah I couldn’t find it

I grew up believing my grandfather had been a Japanese prisoner of war. Turned out he just liked hiding things up his arse.

Did you heard about the giant that threw up? It's all over town!

What do you call an angry carrot? A steamed veggie.

What’s your name, son?' The principal asked his student. The kid replied, 'D-d-d-dav-dav-david, sir.' 'Do you have a stutter?' the principal asked. The student answered, 'No sir, my dad has a stutter but the guy who registered my name was a real jerk.'

A kid decided to burn his house down. His dad watched, tears in his eyes. He put his arm around the mom and said, 'That’s arson.'

Did you hear about the french general who stepped on a landmine? Napoleon Blown Apart.

My wife and I have decided not to have kids. The kids are taking it pretty badly.

I’d like to have kids one day. I don’t think I could stand them any longer than that, though.

Not to brag but I made six figures last year. I was also named worst employee at the toy factory.

I bought Spotify premium for an uninterrupted music experience. But I still hear my wife’s bickering between songs.

Not to brag but I made six figures last year. I was also named worst employee at the toy factory.

It's easy to convince ladies not to eat Tide Pods, but harder to deter gents.