The Best (and Worst) Dad Jokes for Adults 👋

My son has his BA and his MA—but his P­A still supports him.

My wife wanted to spice up our sex life, so she asked if we could play doctor tonight. It seemed like a weird idea, but I’m eager to please.

When I see the names of lovers engraved on a tree, I don’t find it cute or romantic. I find it weird how many people take knives with them on dates.

Just got back from a job interview where I was asked if I could perform under pressure. I said I wasn’t too sure about that but I could do a wicked 'Bohemian Rhapsody.'

My wife gave birth three times and still fits in her prom dress from high school. I gave birth zero times and I don’t fit in my pants from March.

In 2017 I didn't do a marathon. I didn't do one in 2018, 2019, or 2020, either. This is a running joke.

My boss asked me why I only get sick on work days. I said it must be my weekend immune system.

My ex and I had a very amicable divorce. I know this because when I posted on Facebook, 'I’m getting a divorce,' she was the first one to like it.

My grief counselor died the other day. He was so good at his job, I don’t even care.

I asked my date to meet me at the gym but she never showed up. I guess the two of us aren't going to work out.

Do you know how many people are dead at a cemetery? All of them.

I think my wife is putting glue on my antique guns collection. She denies it but I'm sticking to my guns.

What kind of music should you listen to while fishing? Something catchy!

What did the roof say to the shingle? The first one’s on the house.

What state is known for its small drinks? Minnesota.