The Best (and Worst) Dad Jokes for Adults 👋

It dawned on me in the shower that my ex gf must be related to hurricane Dorian. You've been waiting for them to come but they just keep gyrating until they exhaust themselves. The worst though is when you see the video of them ravaging and gushing all over their previous fling, leaving you feeling completely inadequate and devastated.

My dad encouraged me to take a job on a highway construction crew... ...but I decided not to go down that road.

Why do vampires dress in Victorian clothes? Because they love period sex.

How do you know if the mosquitos are really big? When their sucking feels good.​​A joke told my my grandfather about when he was stationed in the woods in the army.

What is the average temperature in China? 451° F

What joke is the same in all european languages? USA

How do dragon-type Pokemon solve their disputes? They let bagons be bagons

I wonder what turtle tastes like? It tastes like plastic.

My Tinder match said she’d talk to me again when she got home... Guess she’s homeless.

A man was finishing reading a book when all of a sudden he had an urge to start masturbating. He finished at the end of the book You can say he *Came to a conclusion*

A guy walks into a bar...and he was disqualified from the limbo contest.'

What do you call someone who tells dad jokes but isn't a dad? A faux pa.

Why is grass so dangerous? Because it’s full of blades.

Try the seafood diet—you see food, then you eat it.

My wife wanted to spice up our sex life, so she asked if we could play doctor tonight. It seemed like a weird idea, but I’m eager to please.