The Best (and Worst) Dad Jokes for Adults 👋

My girl is so insecure... Even though she doesn't find any hair on my clothes she still be like "Who's the bald chick?!".

I couldn’t get $GME, so I got CHKN, BEEF, and VGTBL stock instead. I hope to become a bouillionaire!

I absolutely love and admire the unintellignt, overweight, yellowish-orange skinned man with the bad combover covering his baldness who has had his finger on the nuclear button all these years... Wait... I was talking about Homer Simpson, who did you think I meant?

Bernie Sanders and Google Fiber walk into a bar. And all of Reddit gave it an upvote.

A cowboy is riding across the plains when he sees an Indian on his knees with his head on the ground. The Indian looks up at him and says "Many buffalo come"The Cowboy asks "Can you hear them?"Then Indian says " No, ground sticky."

Hey girl, are you an angle? Cos I'm sinning to know you.

My wife thinks her ability to tie a cherry stem into a knot with her tongue is cool but as a man with a cherry-stem-sized penis I'm horrified.

How many Germans does it take to change a lightbulb? Just the one, because they are very efficient and they don't have a sense of humour.

Due to lack of protective measures during the pandemic, retail cashiers and bank tellers are refusing to go to work It's a counter strike

There are serious injustices that have not been corrected in this world. For example, beating up a white guy will get you much more prison time than beating up a black guy.After all, Assault can get you up to 25 years, while impersonating a policeman will get you 5 at most.

Just paid $200 for a belt that doesn’t fit! What a huge waist!

I used to hate facial hair, but then it grew on me.'

Today, my son asked, “Can I have a bookmark? ' I burst into tears—11 years old and he still doesn’t know my name is Brian.

I have a clean conscious—it's never been used.

Women should not have children after 36—really, 36 children is enough.