The Best (and Worst) Dad Jokes for Adults 👋

As I get older, I remember all the people I lost along the way. Maybe a career as a tour guide was not the right choice.

It really takes guts to be an organ donor.

What do you call a sleeping bull? A bulldozer.

I just read that someone in London gets stabbed every 52 seconds. Poor bastard.

I have a joke about trickle down economics. But 99% of you will never get it.

How many telemarketers does it take to change a light bulb? Only one, but he has to do it during dinner.

A kid decided to burn his house down. His dad watched, tears in his eyes. He put his arm around the mom and said, “That’s arson.”

I couldn’t find the thingy that peels potatoes and carrots, so I asked my kids if they'd seen it... Apparently, she left me two days ago...

What do you call a man with a shovel in his head? An ambulance

What do Barack Obama and Donald Trump have in common? Both are former presidents of the USA and both are harassed for the color of their skin.

"Yeah. Those animals across our southern border have ruined their own country and our trying to invade and ruin ours. With their rampent guns and drugs... their government has become a shambles of nut job military and rich drug addicts who don't care about anyone! Eh?"

"Yeah. Those animals across our southern border have ruined their own country and our trying to invade and ruin ours. With their rampent guns and drugs... their government has become a shambles of nut job military and rich drug addicts who don't care about anyone! Eh?"

A bloke was sentenced to life imprisonment for murder and the judge also ordered him to have his hearing destroyed. I thought it was a bit harsh to be honest, life imprisonment and the deaf penalty

I just found out there is over 1 million battered women in the United States and I’ve been eating them plain the whole time.

Did you hear about the guy who got his face ripped off by a leopard? He's alt-right now.