The Best (and Worst) Dad Jokes for Adults 👋

I know it's way too soon, but... How many times did Tiger's SUV roll? FOUR!!!I'm going to Hell.

My father taught me to be reserved and respectful, he said “Son, no one likes a cocky asshole” “Well, except for uncle Brian and the guy from the hair salon”

Policeman: why do you keep beating your wife?? Me: I think it's the weight difference, the longer reach, and superior footwork

Trump's going to pardon Susan B. Anthony... He just learned the she too campaigned against mass voting by male.

A lonely, angry young man started to keep a spreadsheet of all the women who he thought had wronged him. It was the incel's Excel.

A man brings some flowers home to his wife. She’s so surprised by his romantic gesture that she lays back on the dining table, throws her legs in the air and spreads them. Her husband confused looks down and goes, “What’s that for?"His wife replies, “For the flowers of course."He thinks for a moment and asks, “Don’t we have a vase?"

What did Axl Rose name the colonics spa that he proudly opened? 'Buns n Hoses'

If Trump had been editor of the Sun, "Virginia" would have received a much different answer... No.

Evangelists don’t need health care. They’re on the single prayer system.

Say what you want about suicide jumpers. I think they used all of their potential.

I went to Bank of America to deposit a check, and they asked me for ID. I said, “Are you telling me other people are trying to put money into my account and you’re telling them no?”

I ran into a buddy in town earlier today. He only has one arm God bless him, lost it in Iraq. Anyway I asked him where he was off to."To change a light bulb" he replies."Won't that be difficult?" I ask."Nah" he says, "I've still got the receipt".

How do nonbinary people hurt each other? They slash them. (They/them)

Why do standup comedians perform poorly in Hawaii? Because the audience only responds in a low ha.

Air used to be free at the gas station, now it costs 2.50. You want to know why? Inflation.