The Best (and Worst) Dad Jokes for Adults 👋

All vampires keep their money in a special place—the blood bank.

What’s the difference between a wizard who raises the undead and a sexy vampire? One is a necromancer and the other is a neck romancer.

A father tells his son that he was adopted. 'I want to meet my biological parents,' the son demands. 'We are your biological parents,' the father responds. 'Now pack up, the new ones will pick you up in twenty minutes.'

I asked the IT guy, 'How do you make a Motherboard?' He said, 'I tell her about my job.'

A policy officer caught two kids playing with a firework and a car battery. He charged one and let the other off.

I bought Spotify premium for an uninterrupted music experience. But I still hear my wife’s bickering between songs.

I have a joke about trickle-down economics, but 99% of you will never get it.

My wife told me to quit doing my terrible Arnold impression, but don't worry, I'll return.

I have a joke about trickle down economics. But 99% of you will never get it.

“Doctor, I think I have ADHD. I can never remember where I parked my Ford.” Doctor: That’s not how ADHD works.Man: But I keep losing my Focus.

Beach residents near the cruise ship ports are enjoying the visually noticeable cleaner water. No shit.

John Cena wakes up at a hospital John Cena: Where am I Nurse: ICUJohn Cena: No you can’t

I took a girl on a date into a freezer and prodded her with a mesh of wire... She screamed, "What the hell is this?" I replied "Net flicks and chill."

I brought my girlfriend home to meet my family. They criticized everything she did, mocked her heritage and gave her a psychiatric disorder.I guess I shouldn't have insisted on the royal treatment.

Bank Robber 1: Did you scope out the place? Robber 2: Yes. The place has two armed guards.Robber 1: So we are evenly matched, limb wise.