The Best (and Worst) Dad Jokes for Adults 👋

*Walks in on my dad inserting a bullet up his ass* My dad: ''Don't worry, I'm just fucking around''

My favourite word in the English language is frequently I try to use it as often as possible

Studies show that after being released from prison, women have a tendency to immediately begin menstruation. This is because a period comes at the end of a sentence.

A man has been arrested for publically masturbating while reading out loud from a law book, all the while imagining legal cases. Though he got off on a technicality.

Only a fisherman will understand the struggle Give a man a fish and you will feed him for the day.Teach a man to fish and he’s going to spend a fortune on gear he’ll only be using twice a year.

I think my wife is putting glue on my antique guns collection. She denies it but I'm sticking to my guns.

I thought it was just the U.S's insatiable need for inexpensive, single-use, remote controlled electronic junk that my son always wants crappy toys made in China that break after 5 days But it seems China feels the same way about their rockets.

[Siri Beta] What do you get when you cross a kangaroo with an alien? A mars-upial

A slice of apple pie costs $2 in Cuba. But, in the Bahamas a slice only costs $1 Sorry, I'm just telling you the pie-rates of the Caribbean\*Laughs in Johnny Depp\*

I called a suicide hotline in Iraq..... They got excited and asked if I can drive a truck!

I was in the supermarket the other day and there was a girl in front of me at the checkout, she had one apple, one pear, one toothbrush, one cup o noodle, and one can of soup. I leaned over and said, "You're single arent you.."She says, "Yes, but how did you know?"I said, "Because you're ugly as fuck!"

What do you call a Dinosaur that's also a witch? A Tyranosaurus-Hex.

It takes guts to be an organ donor.'

Why do vampires always seem sick? They're coffin.

Ghosts are bad liars because you can see right through them.