The Best (and Worst) Dad Jokes for Adults 👋

I bought Spotify premium for an uninterrupted music experience. But I still hear my wife’s bickering between songs.

I was researching about Atheism. Turns out it’s a non-prophet organization.

Q: What do you need to make a small fortune on Wall Street? A: A large fortune.

Do you wanna box for your leftovers?' 'No, but I'll wrestle you for them.'

I once got fired from a canned juice company. Apparently I couldn't concentrate.'

I talk to myself because sometimes I just need expert advice.

I went to a smoke shop only to discover it’d been replaced by an apparel store.

What’s a bad wizard’s favorite computer program? Spell-check.

Did you know corduroy pillows are in style? They're making headlines.'

To the person who stole my diary and then died: My thoughts are with your family.

To the person who stole my depression medication: I hope you're happy now.

My daughter just shrieked at me, “Daaaaaad, you haven’t listened to a word I’ve said, have you?” What an odd way to begin a conversation.

I'm thinking I should do lunges to stay in shape. That would be a big step forward.

You’re American when you go into the bathroom, and you’re American when you come out, but do you know what you are while you’re in there? European.

Have you ever tried to eat a clock? It's very time consuming.