The Best (and Worst) Dad Jokes for Adults 👋

What do you call a man who can’t stand? Neil.

Why do peppers make such good archers? Because they habanero.

I tried to explain to my 4-year-old son that it’s perfectly normal to accidentally poop your pants. But he’s still making fun of me.

Never date a tennis player. Love means nothing to them.

When I die, I want to be cremated. It’s my last chance to have a smokin’ hot body.

TIL that the writer Stephen King has a son named Joe... I’m not joking, but he is...

Wanna hear a construction joke? Sorry, my subcontractors are still working on it, we're behind schedule, my credit line and bank facilities won't get approved because my auditor won't release a clean audit report......it's a mess.

I used to be a mass murderer... But then I got a vasectomy.

Just got vaccinated! Nothing special really, but you do get tired and just want to go home and browse Internet Explorer or Edge.

My therapist told me to write letters to the people I hate and burn them I did the latter. Now what do I do with the letters?

China Online What do you call a Chinese man with a slow internet connection?Lo Ding

I gave a homeless guy $5 today I gave this homeless guy $5 and an old lady behind me told me he's just going to use it for drugs, so I confronted him and asked where I could also get drugs for $5

My Uncle just said to me, “All these mass shooting are happening because kids these days are so self entitled.” I said, “Why? Because they want to keep all the bullets?”Seriously, Fuck Him.

You’re all wrong, the Earth isn’t flat or round... It’s fucked

- I saw two men beating my mother in law - and you didn’t do anything?- nah, 3 people would be too many