The Best (and Worst) Dad Jokes for Adults 👋

When the police caution you that whatever you say can be taken in as evidence Your next words must be: please don’t hit me again officer

My great grandfather sunk 5 U-boats in ww2 Easily the worst captain the kriegsmarine had

It's hard being an American Comedian in Iraq! No matter how many times I keep coming back I'm always bombing!

Introduced my girlfriend to the family over the weekend, everyone was shocked... Specially the wife .

My uncle Bobby Ray fell into a whiskey vat last week. Some men tried to pull him out but he kept fighting them off and drowned. We had him cremated... he burned for three days.

Nintendo just announced they're changing Pokemon Sword & Shield to Pokemon Circle & Oval After Game Freak decided to cut every corner.

A man on the street was trying to sell me a "slightly used" television... "How can a television be slightly used?" I inquired"The old lady that owned it, she was blind in one eye." he said

You think swimming with sharks is expensive? Swimming with sharks cost me an arm and a leg.'

How do lawyers say goodbye? We'll be suing ya!'

It's easy to convince ladies not to eat Tide Pods, but harder to deter gents.

My wife told me she’ll slam my head on the keyboard if I don't get off the computer. I’m not too worried, I think she’s jokinlkjhfakljn m,.nbziyoao78yv87dfaoyuofaytdf

I haven’t talked to my wife in a week — I didn’t want to interrupt her.

I just read that someone in London gets stabbed every 52 seconds. Poor bastard.

What do you call a sad cup of coffee? Depresso.

The first thing Santa's elves learn in school is their elf-abet.