The Best (and Worst) Dad Jokes for Adults 👋

[NSFW] What is the ornithologist with binoculars doing on the nudist beach? Looking for Great Tits!

A cop started crying while he was writing me a ticket. I asked him why and he said, 'It's a moving violation.'

It takes guts to be an organ donor.'

A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks, 'What do you want?' The man says, 'Oh, just some fruit punch.' The bartender sighs and shakes his head, 'If you want punch, you're gonna have to wait in line.' The man looks around, but there is no punchline.

Women should not have children after 36—really, 36 children is enough.

My friend said that if he went off a cliff, it would be on his own accord. It’s a good thing he drives a Civic.

I just broke up with my mathematician girlfriend. She was obsessed with an X.

I tell dad jokes, but I don't have any kids. I'm a faux pa.

I asked my wife if I was the only one she slept with. She said yes—the others were 7’s and 8’s.

I tell dad jokes but I have no kids. I’m a faux pa!

A woman lent a blind man 100,000 dollars The blind man said: I’ll pay my debt when I see you.The blind man returned 1 week later. He pays the 100,000 dollars back and says:The surgery went well!

They say drinking one beer a day can prevent you from having a psychotic break, which is great... ...I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy.

What do you call an STD that loves makeup? Glamydia

My uncle prayed to God to solve all his family's problems God answered his prayers.My uncle's funeral is next week.

I got a mail saying that I won 1 million dollars because I could read Maps backwards I thought to myself, "Thats just Spam"