The Best (and Worst) Dad Jokes for Adults 👋

Me and my mate were playing darts he said "Nearest to bull starts?", I said "Baa," he said "Moo," I said "You're first then."

When I was at the immigration office, I interrupted an officer answering his phone and told him "Ship them back where they came from. They have a tendency to explode". He arrested me for being Islamophobic. As I was dragged out, I was yelling "I was talking about your Samsung Galaxy Note 7!"

I was spending too time pairing socks after they’d been washed When I buy new socks, I now glue them together

My hotel tried to charge me ten dollars extra for air conditioning. That wasn't cool.

I'm on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it.'

I asked my wife if I was the only one she slept with. She said yes—the others were 7’s and 8’s.

I’d like to have kids one day. I don’t think I could stand them any longer than that, though.

“Just say NO to drugs!” Well, if I’m talking to drugs, I probably already said yes.

My friend keeps saying "cheer up man it could be worse, you could be stuck underground in a hole full of water." I know he means well.

I was in a job interview the other day and they asked if I could perform under pressure. I said no, but I could perform Bohemian Rhapsody.

I bought Spotify premium for an uninterrupted music experience. But I still hear my wife’s bickering between songs.

What kind of drugs do criminals smuggle through airport security? Ass crack

If robert frost was bisexual... He would have gone both ways.

My family has been specializing in ventilator sales for over 40 years. I don't know why we've been getting so many creeps lately at our Only Fans store.

Marylanders: Do you know how to tell the difference between male and female Chesapeake blue crabs ? The female will tell you how to eat her.