The Best (and Worst) Dad Jokes for Adults 👋

I'm starting a new business tomorrow. It will be a gym for two weeks in January, and then a beer and burger place for the rest of the year.I'm calling it, "Resolutions."

They say reading is hot. So I started studying philosophy. Now all of my relationships are platonic.

Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

Cosmetic surgery used to be such a taboo subject. Now you can talk about Botox and nobody raises an eyebrow.

What do you call someone who refuses to fart in public? A private tutor.

I love dad jokes, but I don't have kids, which makes me a Faux Pa.

My toddler is refusing to nap. He’s guilty of resisting a rest.

I have a joke about being an electrician, but it’s too shocking.

To the person who stole my case of energy drinks: I bet you can't sleep at night.

I used to be able to play piano by ear, but now I have to use my hands.

Did you know that if all the capillaries of a human lung were rolled out onto a tennis court... The game would likely be cancelled

A tough old rancher once told his grandson that the secret to a long life was to sprinkle a little gunpowder on his oatmeal every morning. The grandson did this religiously, and he lived to be 97. When he died, he left behind 14 children, 27 grandchildren, 34 great-grandchildren and a 15-foot hole in the wall of the crematorium.

I came up with a science joke... Why are people with diamond shoes so bad for the environment?They have a big carbon footprint...

Why don't people sympathise when your books drop to the floor? Because you only have your shelf to blame

Few years ago I saw Slim Shady in concert and instead of rapping he just kept pulling his pants down and mooning the crowd. Honestly the whole thing was just Em bare assing.