The Best (and Worst) Dad Jokes for Adults 👋

I just paid $100 for a belt that doesn’t fit — what a huge waist!

I have a joke about being an electrician, but it’s too shocking.

You burn 26 calories a minute kissing. That's probably why I'm overweight.

When I was younger, my dad went to prison because he set his boss’s house on fire. I always wondered if I’d wind up in jail like my old man, so I visited him one weekend and I asked him, “Dad, are we all pyromaniacs in this family?” And he said... “Yes we are, son.”

Watching movies on illegal websites are probably the hottest thing you can do. I mean, why else would all these horny singles in my area be ready to chat.

Why doth Abraham not bringeth his grain to the spelling bee? For it was already spelt.

So I work at a hospital doing circumcisisions It pays horribly, but at least I get to keep the tips.

A woman is on trial for beating her husband to death with his guitar collection. Judge says, "First offender?" She says, "No, first a Gibson! Then a Fender."

I have a joke about trickle-down economics, but 99% of you will never get it.

I had a dream that I weighed less than a thousandth of a gram. I was like, 0mg.

I had a dream that I weighed less than a thousandth of a gram. I was like, 0mg.

To the person who stole my diary and then died: My thoughts are with your family.

We’re renovating the house, and the first floor is going great, but the second floor is another story.

We’re renovating the house, and the first floor is going great, but the second floor is another story.

I have a joke about trickle-down economics, but 99% of you will never get it.