The Best (and Worst) Dad Jokes with Answers 👋

What did Trump say when he hit the button on his alarm clock but it wouldn't stop beeping? Fake snooze

In chemistry class the experiment called for 36 grams of the 83rd element on the periodic table. I could see that the girl next to me had weighed out 42 grams. When I told her she was getting a bit heavy she said.... I should mind my own bismuth.

For my birthday, my friends gave me a bunch of dirt and sand. I appreciate the sediment, but...

I always knock on the fridge door before opening it, just in case there's a salad dressing.

The inventor of the throat lozenge has died. There will be no coffin at his funeral.

What do you call a fibbing cat? A lion.

I told my doctor I heard buzzing, but she said it's just a bug that's going around.

I used to be addicted to soap, but I’m clean now.

I’m an expert at picking leaves and heating them in water. It’s my special tea.

If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring?' 'Pilgrims.'

What did the two pieces of bread say on their wedding day? It was loaf at first sight.

I ordered a chicken and an egg online. I’ll let you know.'

Dad: Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? Son: No. What happened? Dad: The teacher woke him up.

A man walks into a magic forest and tries to cut down a talking tree. 'You can't cut me down,' the tree complains. 'I’m a talking tree!' The man responds, 'You may be a talking tree, but you will dialogue.'

My landlord told me we need to talk about the heating bill. 'Sure,' I said. 'My door is always open.'