The Best (and Worst) Dirty & Inappropriate Dad Jokes 👋
Buckle up, buttercup! This ain’t your grandpa’s joke book. Enter at your own risk for dad jokes that have gone rogue. Prepare for puns that push the boundaries, one-liners with a wink, and humor that’s definitely not safe for the dinner table. In Dirty & Inappropriate Dad Jokes, you’ll find a collection of puns and one-liners that have taken a mischievous turn. Consider yourself warned – these jokes are definitely not for the faint of heart or polite company.
What happens to Jason Momoa once he dies? He becomes Jason Nomoa.
Motel A man checks into a motel. He asks for a queen bed and non smoking. The lady at the desk asks if he has any special requests. The man requests that the porn be disabled. The woman yells at the man "you sick bastard! We only have regular porn here!”
How does Gordon Ramsay discern a leopard from a jaguar? ITS FUCKING ROAR!
Hookers were prepared for the pandemic because they’ve always offered curbside pickup.
What do you call an ISIS member who owns 6 goats? A pimp
Dating a girl with an OnlyFans is a lot like having your own private, reserved parking spot. Anyone and everyone can see it, but only you actually get to use it.
What did the redneck say when he walked in on his daughter using a cucumber to masturbate? Hey! I was going to eat that later! Now it's going to taste like cucumber.
A teacher draws a cucumber on a chalkboard in a biology class, and asks the students what it is. One student raises his hand and says. “That’s a dick ma’am”The teacher is horrified and runs to the principals office.A few minutes later, the principal walks in.“Alright! Who made the teacher cry? And who the hell drew a dick on the board?!”
What did Drake say after passing gas? Farted from my bottom now it's clearBonus - Sharted from my bottom there's a smear
I got sent home from work today because I failed the temperature test today. I dropped my pants and bent over. They should have said it was a thermal scan!
I got fired from my job at the sperm bank today Apparently dipping your finger in the sample cup and saying “oh this is spicy I actually asked for mild” is frowned upon
Beyonce was just telling me the best way to source product for my new pillow-making side-hustle. I was very surprised when she suggested punching a duck in the face. I replied - I didn't know you could get down like that.
The Horny Crab Two men are talking:"I'm a kind of horny crab" the first man gasps."what do you mean" asks the other one."I can't get out of Michelle".
My wife and I were out to dinner and the waitress started flirting with me. "She obviously has COVID," my wife said. "Why?" I asked. "Because she has no taste."
PRO TIP: if you are exposed to mace and/or tear gas DO NOT MASTURBATE, EVEN AFTER YOU WASH YOUR HANDS SEVERAL TIMES. this is not a joke I’m suffering!