The Best (and Worst) Dirty & Inappropriate Dad Jokes 👋
Buckle up, buttercup! This ain’t your grandpa’s joke book. Enter at your own risk for dad jokes that have gone rogue. Prepare for puns that push the boundaries, one-liners with a wink, and humor that’s definitely not safe for the dinner table. In Dirty & Inappropriate Dad Jokes, you’ll find a collection of puns and one-liners that have taken a mischievous turn. Consider yourself warned – these jokes are definitely not for the faint of heart or polite company.
What do you call an impotent baseball player? Two balls and a strike.
I was sitting on the back porch with my wife when I suddenly blurted out, 'I love you.' 'Is that you or the beer talking?' she asked. I answered, 'It’s me… talking to my beer.'
What do you call a zombie’s butt? Deadass
I think my wife is putting glue on my antique guns collection. She denies it but I'm sticking to my guns.
My wife and I let astrology get between us. It Taurus apart.
"Cop: I'm arresting you for downloading the entire Wikipedia." Man: "Wait! I can explain everything!"
*Walks in on my dad inserting a bullet up his ass* My dad: ''Don't worry, I'm just fucking around''
“Feeling strange, Mr. Bond? That’s because I’ve laced your martini with a measles vaccine. The autism should be setting in any second now.” “Joke’s on you, I already disassembled your doomsday device and rearranged all the parts in order of size.”
I don't always joke about stillborn Greek gods... ...but when I do, it's all about dead Pan delivery.
Did you hear the man who invented the USB port died? At his funeral they lowered the casket....Then raised it, turned it around, and lowered it again.
What do you call a guy with a pink shirt, pink shoes,and a pink 40 caliber? Sir.
What did George Bush say when he was fighting in war? I ambush
The local furniture store sells stools I checked out one of their samples and I was unimpressed. It looked like a piece of shit.
A man walked onto a plane, holding a vulture. The stewardess asked "What the heck is that?"He said "It's my carri-on luggage"*sorry sorry sorry*
The local wig shop got broken into last night They've had to replace all the locks