The Best (and Worst) Dirty & Inappropriate Dad Jokes 👋
Buckle up, buttercup! This ain’t your grandpa’s joke book. Enter at your own risk for dad jokes that have gone rogue. Prepare for puns that push the boundaries, one-liners with a wink, and humor that’s definitely not safe for the dinner table. In Dirty & Inappropriate Dad Jokes, you’ll find a collection of puns and one-liners that have taken a mischievous turn. Consider yourself warned – these jokes are definitely not for the faint of heart or polite company.
My wife and I are a perfect match. For instance, I have a 9 inch penis, and she doesn't know which end of a ruler to hold up.
A blonde goes to the doctor and says "I keep finding these Colombian postage stamps in my vagina" The doctor takes a look and says "Ma'am, those aren't postage stamps, those are stickers from bannanas"
Just say NO to drugs!' Well, if I’m talking to drugs, I probably already said yes.
It's easy to convince ladies not to eat Tide Pods, but harder to deter gents.
“Just say NO to drugs!” Well, if I’m talking to drugs, I probably already said yes.
My uncle is an archeologist.. He was doing some work in Egypt and came across an ancient tampon. Picked it up, examined it closely and said - I have no idea what period this is from.
A man goes to the doctor for a physical. He tells the doctor not to be alarmed, but he has 5 penises. The doctor says, " 5 penises!? How do your pants fit?"The man replies, " like a glove."
A joke I made up 20 min ago Me: “I’m going to tie a bell on the tip of my penis!”Wife: “WTF!?! Why?!”Me: “I know it’ll be kind of annoying at first, but trust me, it’ll become a-dick-ting!”
How do you get a squirrel down from a tree? You pull down you pants and show him your nuts.
I just spent $300 on a limo and learned it doesn't come with a driver. I can't believe I have nothing to chauffer it.
A man lost his tongue in an accident. He was most upset that he could no longer enjoy his food, so he searched for a surgeon that would do a transplant. Finally he found an organ doner and paid $25k for the procedure... ...later, he had to admit that the new tongue wasn't the same as before, but still it was an acquired taste.
My boss is really into health eating, but Friday is his cheat day... ...which is when he fucks his secretary.
Gordon Ramsay teaches a sex-ed class “The way you make babies is FUCKING RAW!!”
In Soviet Russia policeman questioning a man: *This body is your mother in law, yes?***Yes***How did she die?***Mushroom poisoning***But why does she have 26 stab wounds?***She was refusing to eat them**
I had a one night stand, and afterwards she used my toothbrush I made kind of a big deal about it, because that’s pretty grossShe said, “Well we just had sex, what’s the difference?”I said, “*Well* I was planning on using that toothbrush again”