The Best (and Worst) Dirty & Inappropriate Dad Jokes 👋
Buckle up, buttercup! This ain’t your grandpa’s joke book. Enter at your own risk for dad jokes that have gone rogue. Prepare for puns that push the boundaries, one-liners with a wink, and humor that’s definitely not safe for the dinner table. In Dirty & Inappropriate Dad Jokes, you’ll find a collection of puns and one-liners that have taken a mischievous turn. Consider yourself warned – these jokes are definitely not for the faint of heart or polite company.
Nurse in a care home walked past one of the bedrooms She sees an elderly lady sucking on her husbands penis.She came in and said "Mrs Philips, you can't do that.""Why not?" She asked, "I enjoy doing it.""Yes." She replied, "but it was meant to be buried with the rest of him."
So I said to the manager "try before you buy" It still got me kicked out of the sex toy shop.
What's the difference between an oyster shucker with epilepsy and a prostitute with diarrhoea? One shucks between fits, the other fucks between shits.
What did the cannibal choose as his last meal? Five Guys.
Why didn't the vampire attack Taylor Swift? She had bad blood.
My girlfriend said to me the other day, "Why did God give women periods with cramp pains, and men nothing?" I laughed and replied, "Don't be silly, he gave us women."
My therapist told me that a great way to let go of your anger is to write letters to people you hate and then burn them. I did that and I feel much better but I'm wondering... Do I Keep The Letters?
What does a large Karen use to eat her salad? A Bitchfork
Doctor: you should stop masturbating with cucumbers Patient: oh, read somewhere that it was safe to masturbate with cucumbersDoctor: no, it can really harm your dick
What does it mean when a man is in your bed, gasping for breath and calling your name? You didn't hold down the pillow long enough.
My wife once said, “Sex is better during vacation”. That was not a nice postcard to receive.
A guy and his girlfriend were getting frisky, and he says “I’m pretty good, god-like even” as he starts to go down on her. “Oh god! Oh god!” she’s screaming and thinks “he really is god-like” as she finishes with an “ooooooh gooooooood!”. He lifts his head, spits in the water glass on the night stand, and proclaims, “Red wine!!”
Women are like parking spaces All the good ones are taken so when no ones looking you put it in a disabled one
You're riding a horse full speed, there's a giraffe beside you and you're being chased by a lion. What do you do? Get your drunk ass off the carousel.
I watched a film about a giant crocodile with erectile dysfunction.... Lake Flaccid.