The Best (and Worst) Dirty & Inappropriate Dad Jokes 👋
Buckle up, buttercup! This ain’t your grandpa’s joke book. Enter at your own risk for dad jokes that have gone rogue. Prepare for puns that push the boundaries, one-liners with a wink, and humor that’s definitely not safe for the dinner table. In Dirty & Inappropriate Dad Jokes, you’ll find a collection of puns and one-liners that have taken a mischievous turn. Consider yourself warned – these jokes are definitely not for the faint of heart or polite company.
I locked myself out of my car next to an abortion clinic... It was really awkward asking them for a hanger
Cigarettes are like squirrels. Theyre perfectly harmless until you stick one in your mouth and light it on fire.
When I die, I want to have my ashes mixed with cocaine That way, I’ll go out on a high.
Anyone know how to lift a house? My girlfriend wants me to put foundation on her face.
What do you call a computer file that likes children? A PDFFile
I was walking in a cemetery this morning and saw a bloke hiding behind a gravestone. I said, "Morning." He replied, "No, just having a shit."
Got my second shot now..... Waiting for the bartender to come back so that I can have a third shot.
I was meeting my future father in law for the first time... He asked me, "Are you here for my daughter's hand?" In the interest of being honest, I replied, "I'm mostly interested in her vagina." He was taken aback so I quickly added, "but in a pinch her hand'll do the job."
Why didn't the soldier flush the toilet? It wasn't his duty.(Sorry, this was my niece's favorite joke for years)
In a sex-ed class, the teacher asked me,"What was missing in your first sexual experience?" Apparently, my answer "Consent" was wrong.
I went on a date with a blind chick the other day. We made it back to my place and things started getting hot when she reached up my pants. She said " Damn! You have the biggest dick I've ever played with!"I said "Nah. You're just pulling my leg."
Why was the overweight kid proud of his family's criminal history? He kept being told stories of how his grandfather and father were both big men and everyone knew they were well hung.
I thought it would be a real ethical conundrum when the PETA Headquarters got a rat problem But they just did what they do to all the dogs they rescue.
My girlfriend gave me a Valentine's Day card Silly girl disguised it as a restraining order
I just read that someone in London gets stabbed every 52 seconds. Poor bastard.