The Best (and Worst) Dirty & Inappropriate Dad Jokes 👋
Buckle up, buttercup! This ain’t your grandpa’s joke book. Enter at your own risk for dad jokes that have gone rogue. Prepare for puns that push the boundaries, one-liners with a wink, and humor that’s definitely not safe for the dinner table. In Dirty & Inappropriate Dad Jokes, you’ll find a collection of puns and one-liners that have taken a mischievous turn. Consider yourself warned – these jokes are definitely not for the faint of heart or polite company.
Lost my job at the bank on my first day. A woman asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.
My wife asked me to sync her phone, so I threw it into the ocean.
Lost my job at the bank on my first day. A woman asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.
I asked my wife if I was the only one she slept with. She said yes—the others were 7’s and 8’s.
I got into a discussion with my coworker today about surnames. How they originated from what people were known for. Smith, shoemaker, etc. Well my great great great great great great grandfather's name was Horace P. Horsefucker. He got a bad rap. It was consensual...though the horse said neigh.
Galileo Galilei Invented the Thermoscope Which is the Forerunner of the Rectal Thermometer. Galileo also created the theory of heliocentric orbits by studying near planets like Mercury. This led to the discovery of further planets like Uranus.This is a man who found two different ways to apply Mercury to Uranus.
My date told me she was a baller, so I was keen when she offered me back to her house. When we got there, the place was small.I frowned. "I thought you said you're a baller.""I am," she replied, then she pulled down her underwear.
You see son, grilling a good steak is a lot like you mom... Once it starts bleeding, it's time to flip her over to the brown side.
One friend complained to another, “All my husband and I do anymore is fight. I've been so upset, I’ve lost 20 pounds.” “If it’s that bad, why don’t you just leave him?” asked the second friend. “I’d like to lose another fifteen pounds first.”
An old friend of mine married a young girl As we’re not exactly young ourselves, I was curious how he held up, and asked him how often they had sex. “Almost every day,” he said.“Almost every day?!” I exclaimed.“Yes, almost on Monday, almost on Tuesday, almost on Wednesday...”
What do you call a guy with two dicks? Ambidextrous.
What do fat girls and scooters have in common? They're both fun to ride until your friends find out.
Why is it always crowded in a sperm bank? Because people are paid to come.Why'd you think sperm donations are really expensive, because they're handmadeBut Its hardwork tho, it takes alo of balls to do it, whatever you thing you on regular that's nutting.
I helped my uncle jack off a horse My uncle jack is really heavy, so it was hard to get him off of the horse
My girlfriend said she want's to try some condom's with something inside to increase her pleasure. I said "what is that" she said "other men's dick's"