The Best (and Worst) Funny Fatherhood Jokes 👋

If you’re still in the mood for snail jokes: A man goes to a Halloween party with a woman on his back. The host asks him, "And what are you?" The man says "I'm a snail." The host says, "And who's that on your back?" and the man says, "That's Michelle!"

Father in law just made an accidental calculus joke By the time I got to calculus in math, I realized I had reached my limit.

Did you hear about the grizzly who didn't like his daughter wearing a crop top? He disapproved of her exposing her bear midriff.

Those push-up bras aren't very good, are they? I wore my wife's to the gym this morning and I still couldn't manage more than six.

I took my kids to the shooting range today. But they said I had to use the paper targets.

I recently broke it off with a pair of conjoined twins. I said, "It's not you, it's you."

Have you heard of the baseball player whose full name was babe? He was ruthless

I started a new diet this week. I now abstain from eating any food while I put my mittens on in the winter. I call it inter-mitten fasting.

Tony Stark catching Nick Fury up on the events of Civil War Tony: So anyway the Avengers broke up and Steve is a fugitive now.Fury: Wait, are you serious?Tony: No cap

My wife was so excited that she pulled something out of her closet from 10 years ago that still fits.. "Can you believe it? After 10 years and it still fits!""Babe, it's a fucking scarf!"

In the Store with my wife I saw a box of beer on offer for half price so I said can I have them? she said no, budget is tight, I said well you just bought lots of makeup, she replied, that is to make me look beautiful, I replied.. That is what the beer was for.

Kid: Dad, I'm hungry. Dad: Hi Hungry, I'm Dad.

I saw a lady at the bank checking her balance so I pushed her over.

What do you say to your sister when she's crying? Are you having a Crisis?

What do you call an angry musician flipping someone off? A song bird.