The Best (and Worst) Jokes About Your Dad 👋
Celebrate the classic dad moments with our collection of jokes about your dad! These jokes poke fun at all the funny, quirky, and relatable things dads do. Whether you’re joking about their dad habits or their go-to one-liners, our jokes about your dad are perfect for sharing with friends or family. Explore the funniest dad-centric humor that highlights all the lovable (and sometimes embarrassing) sides of fatherhood!
What happened when the ten-year-old cannibal spilled his soup? His mother gave him an earful.
What has four wheels and flies? A garbage truck.
A ship carrying red paint and a ship carrying blue paint collide in the middle of the ocean. Both crews were marooned.
Concerned that his son was spending too much time on video games, a dad told him, “When Abe Lincoln was your age, he was studying books by the light of the fireplace.” “Oh yeah?” the son retorts. “Well, when Abe Lincoln was your age, he was President of the United States.”
One friend complained to another, “All my husband and I do anymore is fight. I've been so upset, I’ve lost 20 pounds.” “If it’s that bad, why don’t you just leave him?” asked the second friend. “I’d like to lose another fifteen pounds first.”
What did farmer say when his entire crop died suddenly. What a surprising turnip event.*This is my first attempt at writing a joke, and my wife thinks it's awful.
Did you know your pupils are the last part to stop working when you die? They dilate.
I needed a password eight characters long, so I picked Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.
Where do you not want hide when playing hide and go seek in a hospital? The I-C-U.
What did the hurricane say to the palm tree? Hold on to your coconuts, this ain't gonna be your average blowjob.As told to me by a passing homeless man yesterday...
So I went into the park today and I saw a homeless man sitting on the wishing well with his pants down to his ankles. Well shit.
Why is no one friends with Dracula? He's a pain in the neck.
What has more letters than the alphabet?' 'The post office!'
What do you call a Frenchman in sandals? Philippe Philoppe.
Can anyone tell me what oblivious means, because I have no idea.