The Best (and Worst) Worst & Cringey Dad Jokes 👋

What is the difference between Washington, Nixon and Trump? George Washington couldn’t tell a lie.Richard Nixon couldn’t tell the truth.Donald Trump can’t tell the difference

My uncle got an award for not wearing a mask. The Darwin Award.

Only one word in the English Language starts with D and ends in Y If you don’t believe my check the dictionary

Mickey Mouse gets a call from his lawyer Lawyer: Mickey I’ve looked over all the paperwork and you can’t divorce Minnie just because she’s crazyMickey: I never said she was crazy I said she was fucking Goofy!

Why are roofers always irritated. Because they have to deal with shingles all the time.

We call rings in ears earrings, in eyebrows eyebrow rings and in noses nose rings. Why don't we apply the same to fingers? And with this fingering I give you my hand in marriage....

The worst job I ever had was at the canvas factory, pushing a large needle through 50 layers of cloth over and over and over... Sew boring!

"Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "John." "John who?" John broke down into tears as his Mother's Alzheimer's had gotten progressively worse. "Knock Knock""Who's there?""John.""John who?"John broke down into tears as his Mother's Alzheimer's had gotten progressively

Did you hear about Mexican drug dealer that kept falling asleep on the job? He had narcolepsy

I started a business that takes stock photos of food I call it Spaghetti images

Elon Musk unveils pig with chip in its brain... ...it was from the Kenosha County Sheriff's Department.

‌‌I wa‌‌s walkin‌‌g wit‌‌h m‌‌y girlfrien‌‌d whe‌‌n ‌‌a rando‌‌m gu‌‌y whistle‌‌d a‌‌t he‌‌r an‌‌d sai‌‌d, "Nic‌‌e ass"‌‌. Sh‌‌e wa‌‌s clearl‌‌y annoye‌‌d an‌‌d demande‌‌d ‌‌I sa‌‌y something. S‌‌o ‌‌I turne‌‌d aroun‌‌d an‌‌d said, "Than‌‌k yo‌‌u I'v‌‌e bee‌‌n doin‌‌g squats."

Why did the judge deny the ghost bail? Too much of a fright risk.

I was having dinner with my boss His wife said, ‘How many potatoes would you like, Tim?’. I said ‘Ooh, I’ll just have one please.’ She said ‘It’s OK, you don’t have to be polite.’ ‘Alright,’ I said, ‘I’ll just have one then, you stupid cow. My favourite Tim Vine Joke

I wasn’t close to my father when he died. Which is lucky because he stepped on a landmine.